Fanfare (the tumblr is taking over)

On Utility [Economics]

I find myself tonight curiously sipping beer from a wineglass. I am also smoking marijuana from a pipe made out of tagua, when my mother calls to my cell-phone. Drunk, high and slightly peeved, I try to continue writing about economic utility.

It is what will satisfy me right now, to persevere in the expression of my thought, which I thought so witty and relevant that it would satisfy to try and explain it in writing because I might end up with something interesting, a thought that might encourage more.

The beer is so damn refreshing, but it’s not without its flaws. It came from Mexico, so it cost a bit more. In any case, I could have noticed it, I could have not whenever I bought it. I probably did, but since I buy beer so seldomly, I didn’t really mind, regardless of the social norm.

It’s good beer: Negra Modelo (for those in the know), it makes me feel drunk and leaves a good aftertaste in my mouth.

I tell myself this is only a first draft: It’s always a first fucking draft if you’re lonely like me.

You see? That’s what I like, little digressions like that. I guess it might be due to the pot I just smoked, because, clearly I don’t want to digress but stick to the point: utility.

It does not please me at all that I know that most likely this pot does not have the best of origins, but at least it’s locally grown; my purchase of it mostly, at least, goes to help a taxicab driver and most likely, his own fucking vices…I also see it as a very riskless proposition for me, a service he’s providing me with for which he has to save every time he buys weed for me, since I pay him in advance (because I’m an idiot banker).

I know I hope someone will read what I’m writing and undestand what I’m saying: somehow this prospect of an utterly unconfirmable phenomenon brings me a satisfaction I crave for. In many ways, it is the motor of the perpetuity of my satisfaction, I mean, its lack thereof. Might I be a good economic model?

It’s easier not to care. I’ve lit up a cigarette, which I fucking hate. I’ve also lit up some incense so the haze has a little more zest.

I smoke weed pretty much every day. It’s why I thought the cab driver would save.